In the last post, we discovered the importance of high self-worth is all wonderful and awesome, right? Sure, having a high level self -worth is of tremendous importance. But the question now is: how do we go about building our self-worth?
The first step to building self-worth is to stop comparing yourself to others, is to challenge your inner voice, to kill your biggest critic.
However, I have other tips for you on how to build that intrinsic value of yours. And it is a step-by-step process:
1. The Self-Understanding Stage
One of the ways to increase your self-worth involves getting to know yourself. And I don’t mean knowing yourself on a superficial and vague level. I mean, at a deeper, emotional and more profound level.
Take a moment to take this short exercise. Imagine a scenario where everything, and I mean everything, you had was taken away from you. Your family, material possessions friendships, relationships and career; everything, all gone. Then ask yourself:
What if everything I have was taken away from me
What if all I had is just myself, me?
How would that make me feel? What will I actually have that will be of value?
This is pretty much interesting situation. And I’m very sure many people won’t take time to perform that exercise. But it is mind blowing to know how you feel after everything is taken away from is essentially the measure of your self-worth.
Okay, I’m not going to try to be a superman here, finding yourself in the above scenario makes you feel kind of valueless. But I tell you, if you have a high level of self-worth, finding yourself in the scenario above won’t change who you are as a person. It won’t shake your self-confidence. Why? Because you don’t measure your value based on external factors.
That is why it is important to ask yourself with genuine honesty;
What would I actually have left that would be of value?
The deeper you dig into this question, the more you will discover within yourself how you truly value.
So let’s go a little bit deeper into finding your true value by asking yourself another sets of questions. Ask yourself:
Who am i? I am..
How am I?
How do others see me?
What key life moments define who I am today?
What brings me the most passion and fulfillment?
Answering the above question is key to understanding your true value. Because all these questions are important to knowing your self-worth. However, this questioning process is not a bed of roses or rainbows. It requires deep sincerity and genuineness.
Now, let’s be real here and take a moment to examine our struggles and weaknesses. Ask yourself;
Where do I struggle most?
Where do I need to improve?
What fears hold me back?
What hurts me most?
What mistakes do I tend to make?
And don’t you dare avoid these questions. We have to accept the fact we are humans. And as humans, we’re all prone to pitfalls and mistakes. And we must face our own personal struggles. So, we must thoroughly raw and honest in our self-assessment. And only in this way will you be able to develop high self-worth.
In all honesty, ask yourself;
What abilities do I have?
What are my strengths?
The reasons for the above questions is that knowing your strengths will help build your confidence. Your strengths are the things that gives you self-assurance.
Now you know your strengths, weaknesses and your self-worth level, let’s go to the next step.
2. The Self-Acceptance Stage
I’m very sure that by now, you already have a clear picture of your self-worth level. Yes, you’re not perfect [nobody is by the way]. You’ve repeatedly made mistakes and flawed time and again. But that’s okay, not need to beat yourself down, this is the true you. This is who you are.
Forgive yourself for every silly thing you must’ve done in the past. Remember my last post? Learn to let go. Accept yourself unconditionally without judgments or excuses.
Accept the good, bad and ugly. Be at peace
Fully accepting yourself in spite of your flaws, weaknesses and limitation is absolutely necessary for high self-worth development.
Embrace who you are wholeheartedly.
3. The Self-Love Stage
Now you’ve fully embraced and accepted who you are, it’s time you acknowledge your true value. And how do you that? By practicing a little self-love. And this means treating yourself with tolerance, love, care, generosity and compassion just like you will do any of your loved ones.
Practice self-compassion often. And compassion stems from self-love. Practicing self-compassion will help you to no longer look at outside forces for approval. You will instead be searching for the approval you seek within yourself.
Self-love however should not be confused with narcissism. Instead, you should practice healthy self-love. And healthy self-love is about being your own best friend.
4. The Worth Recognition Stage
The fourth step to building your self-worth is to recognize your worth. See your worth/value. Make your worth evident to yourself and the world. And it is not enough to see your worth. And one of the ways to do so is to act on your principles. Acting on your principles not only reveals your true worth to people, it reveals your intrinsic value to yourself. When you act on your principles with integrity, people respect you. And you also respect yourself. When your yes doesn’t agree with your no, or when your actions contradict your principles, your inner voice tends to belittle your value. And this in turn leads to believe your self-worth to be low or not even see it all.
Another way to see your self-worth is to keep tracks of your accomplishments. Yes! Keeping a running log of things you have accomplished may help you see your worth. Every time you are down or feel you’re a failure, try starting a list of everything you have accomplished in your life, large or small, record it. And when you try to go through this list, sit comfortably and concentrate as you read through. Then ask yourself; can I update it with a new achievement?
However, this method of writing your achievements shouldn’t be mainly the medium for measuring your self-worth. And compete with only yourself, not with others. Those achievements shouldn’t be about how others perceive them or how well they like it. It is about what you do and how they make you feel.
5. The Responsibility Stage
And the final stage for building your self-worth is taking full responsibility for your life. No one can live your life for you. So, you’ve got to be responsible if you want to have a high degree of self-worth.
To take responsibility means to acknowledge that you have the personal power to change and influence the events and circumstances of your life. Responsibility is about owning up to the fact that you are in control of your attitudes, your reactions and sense of worth.
Forgiving yourself [like I stated in the self-acceptance stage] and other people is part of responsibility. Blaming everybody won’t do you any good. And it should not be an excuse to reduce your self-worth. Avoid being the martyr.
Now you know the key ways to transmogrifying your confidence level to a pretty awesome rate, what do you do with it?
You act on them everyday
It is a step-by-step process and thus, can’t be rushed. So, don’t be frustrated if these stages don’t seem to work for you as first. Be patient and determined.
Develop your self worth,